Al fresco don’t you know!
Calm before the onslaught of work
Bleedin’ collared doves battle to see who has the shittiest call
Ooohooohoo, oooohhoooooohoooo, ohooohoo
Man you are all so fucking lame,
with your early morning dick waving and
Your head bobbing waddle across the grass and
‘Cos ‘Your Bird’ is forced to leave each egg perched teetering
On some spare, flat twig – ‘cos you’re way too shit at DIY nests.
Because you are so well named – Mr. Collared Cock
Ooooohhoooooohoooo, oooohhoooooohoooo, oooohhoooooohoooo